Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Quick Hits: Now with Special Requests!

It has been a wild couple of weeks... black kids getting a taste of racism, politicians quitting or shacking up with South American chicks, carpenter's losing their tools... I hardly know where to begin!

For Jane: "Hey Governor Palin – Nobody Likes A Quitter!"

When Karl Rove is wondering just what the hell you're doing, you know you're on the train to crazy town.

And hell, she’ll probably run for mayor!

I watched a special report on her soon after she quit. Diane Sawyer or someone like her went to Alaska and interviewed her while she was salmon fishing with the family. Palin was so inarticulate, so awkward that I honestly have no idea how she ever got elected to be Governor. I think the men up there voted for her just to see a MILF on the news.

When I say MILF, please remember that we are talking about Alaska where it is dark half the year and they have the highest ratio of unmarried men to unmarried women in the U.S. (U.S. Census Bureau)

Honestly, this is the person who thought they could be one missed heart beat from the Presidency? If she can't even finish one term as Governor of Alaska, how in God's name did she expect to survive Washington D.C.?

It Doesn't Wash Off You Rich Racist Pigs

A swim club near Philadelphia agreed to rent out it's pool to a day camp once a week. You see, the camp has no pool and the camp directors thought it would be nice if these kids had a chance to go to a pool one a week during the dog days of summer. The camp wrote a check to the Valley Swim Club for $1,950. The club took the check, and on June 29th, 65 kids ranging from 7th grade to kindergarten showed up and started swimming.

That's when it got interesting. You see, the kids attending the Creative Steps, Inc. day camp are black. And it wasn't long before three of the children went to the day camp executive director and said they heard club members asking why blacks were at the club.

Several days later the day camp's check was returned, their access to the pool had been rescinded. When asked why the club shut these kids out, the club President John Duesler made the following statement:

"There was concern that alot of kids would change the complexion .....and the atmosphere of the club."

Complexion? A Freudian slip?

Just because the sheets on your head are 400 thread count imported cotton, you are still a racist.

I have a question for you Mr. Duesler, how many minorities belong to your club? I think it is time for the Feds to do a little census. Separate but equal started going bye-bye in 1954 after Brown v. Board of Education you nasty little bigots.

If I was the ACLU and/or the NAACP, I'd be researching case law right now to hit you folks in the only place it hurts you... your wallets.

Here is the Valley Club website. Look at every photo and tell you see anything but Wonder Bread white faces? I sure don't.

Man Loses Manhood Building Cabinets for Mom

Ouch doesn’t cover it. Little did I know that cabinet making required a jock strap and an iron cup.

And my wife wonders why I’m so useless at home repair. Self preservation baby, self preservation.

Another One Bites the Dust

Listen, neither party is clean when it comes to sex scandals. Edwards, Spitzer, Clinton, Hart, all Democrats who got caught putting their willies where they didn’t belong. But the Democrats haven’t been running around for the past twenty years screaming “family values” while they suck campaign cash out of the religious right and the bible belt.

Gov. Sanford of South Carolina is now the latest in a string of high profile Republicans who have caught cheating or sexing up the wrong person.

You had to love that whole lie about where he was when he was off the South America to bonk his Argentinean love muffin. Hiking the Appalachian Trail?


I think what you meant to say is he was off "humping Argentinean tail."

But he isn’t alone on the Republican Honor Roll of Sexual Hypocrisy. Let’s just look at a few highlights, shall we?

2009: John Ensign, Senator from Nevada, refuses to resign after confessing to an extramarital affair with a married staffer, claiming she was trying to extort him.

2008: Vito Fossella, the only Republican member of Congress from New York City, admitted to police to having a child out-of-wedlock when stopped for drunk driving.

2007: Larry Craig Republican Senator for Idaho, was arrested on July 11, 2007, by plainclothes police officer investigating complaints of lewd behavior in a Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport airport men's room.

David Vitter, junior Senator from Louisiana, became one of the few high-profile politicians to be implicated as a client of "D.C. Madam"

2006: Mark Foley, Republican Representative, Florida Sixteenth Congressional District. Resigned after trying to solicit sex from male congressional pages via an instant messenger program. The conversations included his asking a sixteen-year-old "stud" whether his penis was erect and requesting that he take out and measure his penis. The cover-up involved Republican House Majority Leader John Boehner, Ohio Eighth Congressional District and Republican House Speaker Dennis Hastert, Illinois Fourteenth District.

And while I normally stay away from staffers because they weren’t elected on their lies, this one is just too good (bad?) to pass up.

Alan David Berlin, He is an aide for Senator Jane Orie of Pennsylvania. He is also a furry who contacted a fifteen year old boy over the Internet, and offered to "yiff" the boy in a panda outfit, while his parents weren't home. The parents discovered the graphic emails on the boy's computer and called the Attorney General's child predator unit sometime in May. Police raided his home and discovered various furry outfits such as a wolf costume, as well as a cat outfit; all complete with two holes cut out at the undersides of the costumes.

He was arraigned in Dauphin County jail on a $250,000 bail.

(Credit for list: dkosopedia )

Champion Ice Princess Busted

They don’t call meth “Ice” for nothing I guess.

Nicole Bobek, the 1995 U.S. Figure Skating Champion was taken down in a drug raid targeting a methamphetamine ring. Her mother Jana Bobek was quoted as saying her daughter likes to "party".

Thanks Mom. That's going to go over real well at trial.

I guess poor Nicole forgot that ice is for skating, not smoking. Perhaps when she was falling on the ice, she was really just tasting it.

Okay, that's just mean. I hate to see athletes end up drug dealers/users. I hope she gets the help she needs. She represented our country in international competition, we owe her at least a second chance.

Well, it has been a while and I'm going to try and be better about posting. If not for myself, then for Jane.

She's got plenty on her hands already and deserves better than I've been giving.


Martini said...

White's Only?? How is it that the Swim Club wasn't shut down, or their entire governing body arrested for discrimination? I'm shocked! And not with 1.21 gigawatts of electricity.

philistus said...

"white folks greed drives a world in need".

"I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn’t lived that life,"

Or how Barbara Boxer likes to denigrate African Americans:

My favorite is a long standing Democrat... funny... the last member of congress who was in the KKK.

Democrats are my favorite hypocrits!!!

Jane said...

Argentinian tail, hahahaha.

Thanks for blogging about Palin. She rocks. :)