Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Quick Hits - Now with Gun-toting Idiots

I understand why people like and own guns. Hell, I've owned them, shot them at both targets and game. I don't believe there is anything inherently evil about owning a gun. I'm sure that some of you out there find that weird for a hard-core Democrat, but I grew up in the rural Midwest where guns are a part of life. But I also know that there is a time and a place for everything. Some places and some people shouldn't have guns, and some guns are just unneeded by anyone. And to prove my point, I offer up the following:

Eight-year-old kills himself with Uzi

If you haven't heard/read this story already, you may not want to. The gist is this: an eight-year-old was at a gun show and was given the chance to fire a fully automatic Uzi. His father was there and gave permission. An "instructor" was there to help. The boy pulled the trigger and the recoil brought the barrel so far up in the air that the boy shot himself in the head.

An eight-year-old.

A FULLY AUTOMATIC machine gun.

Someone wasn't thinking...and a boy died.

No one needs a machine gun and an eight-year-old child shouldn't be allowed to fire anything stronger than a suction cup dart gun.

Boy Killed by Uzi at Gun Show

Aryan Morons Plan Assassination

US government agents say they have thwarted a plan by two conspirators to kill the White House front-runner and shoot or decapitate 102 black people.

Daniel Cowart, 20, and Paul Schlesselman, 18, were arrested in Tennessee on Wednesday and charged with possession of firearms, threats against a presidential candidate running and conspiring to rob a gun store, the Department of Justice said.
Do you see that cannon he's holding? No one outside of the military should have access to that kind of weapon. It is unsuitable for hunting, dangerous to use in self-defence, and entirely too powerful for an urban setting. It has one purpose and one purpose only: to kill humans. No one needs a weapon that powerful, no one should be allowed to own one.

I can't even comment on how I feel about assholes like this. I don't believe in the death penalty, but I certainly hope these two are put away for the rest of their lives...if for no other reason than to prevent them from reproducing. To let them have children is a sin against humanity and the homo sapien gene pool.

Obama Assassination Plot Foiled

By the way -- if you live in Cali -- this message is for you:

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Civics Class

I stumbled across this a week or two ago and just thought it was interesting. I considered removing the answers and posting it as a quiz, but frankly, I haven't had the time.

100 Questions and Answers for Citizenship Oral Quiz

Thursday, October 16, 2008

The Final Stretch

The debates are over and I have to say, from my vantage point, it was Obama in straight sets. He looked more presidential, he sounded more presidential, he spoke to the issues that are affecting me and my family, and he had the good sense to pick a running mate who could actually do the job of president. The clear choice in my mind.

But folks, I leave it to you. You've heard them both. Get out there and vote. That is the great part of Democracy. You get to make a choice. You know mine. If you want to share yours, the comment section is there for the using.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

I Think I'll Pass has a headline today quoting our President, George Bush:

Bush: 'Lot of work to do' before leaving office

I think I speak for a lot of Americans when I say Mr. President, "Don't you think you've done enough already?"


Why don't you just take a pass for the next few months. Play with your Wii, go to Disney, spank the monkey to those naked pics of Condi you got from Karl Rove. Pretty much anything except what you've been doing so far.

You know...and I'm just vamping here...if none of those things sounds appealing, you can always hold a few press conferences talking about how John McCain is such a close personal friend.

Sure, you can list off all those times he supported you when you really needed it. The war votes, the tax cuts for the rich, the votes against health care veterans. You can tell the American people something that they really need to hear, that John McCain would be your first and best choice to succeed you.

Honestly, I see a three week whistle stop campaign straight across the country. You know how you love trains Mr. President. I bet they'll even let you blow the horn! And the best part is, you've got all that time between stops to do that other stuff too! The Wii, that special "Condi time" that is so hard to get with Laura around, hell, if you go to Florida, you can even do Disney.

And, if it's not too much to ask, could you start in Ohio? If anyone needs to hear about your undying support of John McCain, it's the people of Ohio.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

How Obama Could Lose

I have had more and more people walk up to me and declare that Obama is going to win the election. But being a Cubs fan, a Minnesota Vikings fan and a Democrat, I know that nothing is for sure. There is no such thing as a sure winner, no matter what the polls or pundits say, it isn't over till America votes. Everyone who lived through the last two elections should know that all too well.

To help put this in perspective, let me give you a perfectly plausible way that Obama could lose this November. I don't think this is going to happen, but it is certainly possible.

Electoral Math

Take a look at the electoral college map as it stands today based on state polling. (Maps obtained from CNN) This shows Obama with nearly enough states to clinch the nomination if all of the currently strong states and leaning states come in for him. Even so, he is still six electors short. That means he has to get one of the toss up states as well. Any one of them will do. (Except Nevada - it only has five electoral votes)

McCain, as of right now, has to win all of his strong states, all the states leaning his way, and all the toss up states. That would give him 274 with 270 needed to win.

This isn't as far fetched as you might think. The only difference between this map and what happened in 2004 is New Mexico and Iowa are Obama states while both of those narrowly went to Bush last election.

Now, lets take a look at those toss up states. Since 1992, only five of the seven have gone to a Democratic candidate at least once and none of them have gone Democratic in the last eight years. Ohio, Missouri and Nevada in both 1992 and 1996. Florida and Colorado only in 1996 and in 1992 respectively.

Every single one of these toss-up states, in recent history, has voted Republican. So while McCain has to win all of the toss-up states, the history of those states is at least marginally on his side.

This is not a done deal. Obama still has to win a traditionally red state to win. And I'll say it again, if you lived through 2000 and 2004, you know just how hard that can be.

Whether it is Kathrine Harris and hanging chads, 8-hour waits to vote in traditionally Democratic precincts or questions about voter fraud and electronic voting machines, the Republicans will not go down without a dirty, sand in the eyes, foot to the groin fight.

Democrats cannot get complacent. We must continue to press forward. We have to do everything we can to make sure that each and every one of us votes and that those votes are counted. If we don't, we could find ourselves reliving history yet again.

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Quick Hits: Now with gravity!

They're Falling on Hard Times

To quote Frank Zappa, "Beauty knows no pain." But apparently Frank didn't consider financial pain in his equation. According to the this article, women are putting off those breast enhancements and tummy tucks because of the crappy economy.

At least there is one good thing coming from this financial mess. If women can learn to accept who they are and quit worrying about those five extra pounds we'll all be happier.

As economy sags, so do breasts.

Drop-Dead Funny

When I was younger, my Dad (the local library director) used to bring home a film projector and a stack of Blackhawk Films. These were mostly one or two reel shorts of Laurel and Hardy or Buster Keaton. We'd take the picture off the living room wall, pop popcorn and just die laughing.

I was particularly fond of the Laurel and Hardy flicks. So much so, that I spent a couple of days in front of the mirror perfecting a Stan Laurel face. I'm still pretty good at it, but no one under the age of 60 remembers who Stan Laurel is so it's kinda useless now.

I think I'll see if I can't get a few of their flicks from BlockBuster and show them to the kids. They are black and white so they might not buy into them, but it's worth a shot.

Oliver Hardy Festival

Gettin' a Little Zero-G

Someone offered Virgin Galactic, the company putting together the first commercial passenger space flights, $1,000,000 dollars to let them film the first zero-gravity porno. In this case, Virgin lived up to it's name and turned down the deal.

Virgin Galactic Turns Down Sex-in-Space Proposal

If anyone is going to figure out how to actually "do it" in zero-gravity, it might take the trained professionals of the porn industry to really make it work.

According to NASA physician Jim Logan:

...spontaneous sex in space could be "a little underwhelming."

"It's a pretty messy environment, when you think about it," he said. "And for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. However ... I can well imagine how compelling, inspiring, and quite frankly stimulating choreographed sex in zero-G might be in the hands of a skilled and talented cinematographer with appropriate lighting and music."

When the crowd tittered, Logan added, "I'm not kidding: Sex in zero-G is going to have to be more or less choreographed. Otherwise it's just going to be a wild flail."

If and when the end is near and we are forced to flee to space, who knew that the key to our survival as a species could well be in the hands of pioneering pornographers. That should have been the pitch to Virgin:

"It's not porn, it's a training film."

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Palin Porn

Honestly, there are a lot of things that go on in the world were I say, "Hey, whatever floats your boat." But this one, I just don't get.

Palin Porn Audition

Why would anyone be interested in watching this?

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

"She's an idiot."

I was going to post about Sarah Palin, but my wife beat me to the punch. In fact, she summed it up rather nicely. Check it out here.

But I will say this:

The Republican's are so worried about her performance tomorrow that they are intentionally trying to drive down expectations. There have been "leaks" talking about how Sarah Palin wasn't doing well in debate prep. There are only two reasons for there ever to be leaks like this.

1) A campaign staffer is trying to make sure that the world knows that this mess isn't his/her fault.


2) They want to drive down expectations so that the media will report that she did better than people thought she would.

Honestly, if she successfully converts oxygen into carbon dioxide, I think there will be people saying she did better than expected. Mere respiration without a mistake, that will show me more than I expect.

Don't buy it folks. Listen to her words, watch her attitude. Don't listen to what anyone, including me says. Make up your own mind based not on expectations, but on actual performance. If you do that, I'm sure you'll do the right thing in the voting booth.