Thursday, June 29, 2006

The Ho Tax -- Stiffer Penalties for Servicing Stiffies

You have to love Sen. Charles Grassley from the Great State of Iowa. This is a guy that no one thought would amount to much. Back in 1980 when he was the young senator from Iowa along with Roger Jepsen, he was the smarter half of the team known as "Those guys from Iowa, you know, Tweedledum and Tweedledummer."

But then he did something that made him a hero back home, he pushed around some Pentagon uniform with a body in it about over out of control defense spending. Nothing plays better in Des Moines than pushing some General up against a wall because he's spending 600 bucks a piece for toilet seats. Suddenly, Chuck was the real deal and the folks at home loved him.

Now he's the chairman of the powerful Senate Finance Committee and probably in his seat from Iowa until he either dies or wanders away from the DC retirement home known as the Hart Senate Office Building.

But until that time comes, Chuck isn't sitting on his past glory. He's got more fish to fry, and this time he's targeting pimps and hos.

Yes, that's right. I said pimps and hos. Hookers and Madams. Ladies of the Evening. Streetwalkers. Workers in the World's Oldest Profession. Chuck thinks he has the answer to the vast prostitution problem in Iowa and the rest of the country.

Taxes. He wants pimps to make their hookers fill-out W2 forms and pay withholding taxes or face ten years in the federal pen on tax charges.

I am not defending pimps, but this is just stupid. It was brilliant to get Al Capone on tax evasion, but sending the IRS out after armed pimps is just dopey. Accountants pay pimps, not arrest them.

Besides, all this will do is increase the quality of the prostitution operation. That's right, like the war on drugs, this move will only increase the cost and quality of the hookers available. By making them pay taxes, you are going to force them to become more professional, more business-like. Escort services will flourish and prostitution will be legitimized.

Also, does Sen. Grassley honestly think that the average pimp on the street is paying income taxes anyway? No way. Whoring is a cash business. If you wanted to take them down for tax evasion, you could do that today. You could even have a cool street name for it. Pimps all across the country would be talking about how the pimp up the street was doing time "'cause he got Caponed."

Senator, do us all a favor. Stick to messing with the Pentagon when they are screwing the American taxpayers and leave the pimps to the local Vice squad. They are the real experts when it comes to stopping hookers from screwing the taxpayers for money.

GOP Senator Calls For Pimp Tax


Anonymous said...

I am all for it. In fact, I would go a step further. Make them get tax stamps like the drug dealers are supposed to do. Then the Johns can check for the presence of the tax stamps before they do anything. You could tax each orifice separately that way. I can hear it now…“Sorry honey, no hand jobs, blow jobs or anal work. I only have the tax stamps for my pussy.”

The T-Dude said...

HA! I love it.