Thursday, June 15, 2006

You Mean I Can Be A Man Again?

This week, the Chicago Tribune published a story about how the popularity of the Metrosexual man was on the wane and it was okay to be a real man again. They pointed to the popularity of a new ad campaign for a popular beer that shows B and C-List male celebrities discussing "man-laws". These laws tackle the weighty issues of how long do you have to wait you date your friend's hottie ex-girlfriend and is it okay to take the leftover beer you brought to a party home with you when you leave? (Six weeks or a new haircut, which ever comes first and you can take one for the road.)

Now, I'm not one to take my culture clues from beer commercials. If I did, I'd be surrounded by scantily clad swimwear models holding ice cold beer while I enjoyed a sporting event. (Note to current source of cultural clues.) But if this is what it takes to shove these calorie counting, facial using, over moisterized, Prada wearing wussies back into the Bloomingdales changing room where they belong, then I'm good with that.

That's right, the pendulum has finally swung back in the direction of real men, and it's about f&$@king time. I'm a man damn it. I fart and belch. I get dirty and don't really care, shit...I enjoy it. I choose to wear certain clothing because it is climate appropriate, not because it makes "my eyes pop." And skin care to me is resisting that urge to pick the scab on my knee -- you know the one ladies, the one I got reliving my glory days by playing softball with a bunch of other men like me.

Don't get me wrong, I've got nothing against personal hygiene and I've been known to dress rather well from time to time. I just don't believe that fashion and vanity should be considered a lifestyle. You can't build a positive self-image based on skin care products and designer clothing. You have to accept who you are and embrace it, enjoy it, and wear it with pride.

I hope that I can teach my daughters that. It wasn't particularly difficult for me to ignore the Metrosexual Movement and be happy with who I am, I just hope they can avoid the ten-fold greater pressure to conform that girls/women face today and be secure in who they are. So far, it shouldn't be hard. They are both shaping up to be Nobel Peace Prize winning swim suit models with great taste in men. I love it when they say, "Boys are just icky."

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