Friday, October 26, 2007

"Liquor? I could barely see her!"

For those of you who read my earlier post on the strangeness that is Utah and thought it couldn't be any stranger, you couldn't be more wrong.

According to this article in the Salt Lake Tribune, even the sight of a bottle of booze is offensive and liquor control commissioner Bobbie Coray wants her colleagues to do something about it.
A glass partition between bartenders and customers required under current regulations may not be enough, Coray told her fellow liquor control commissioners at their monthly meeting.

Coray, a lone holdout opposing liquor licenses for strip bars, now wants the commission to place more restrictions on glass partitions in restaurants. She called the partitions "a Zion curtain," imposed to satisfy Mormons whose faith eschews alcohol.

Glass walls don't obscure the alcohol, said Coray, a nondrinker, turning the "atmosphere in a restaurant to more of a bar." She singled out the Cheesecake Factory, which opens its first Utah outlet at Fashion Place in Murray on Nov. 1, because alcohol bottles are in plain view.
The Cheesecake Factory? Really. Wow, I bet they were serving up flaming shots and dancin' naked on the bar in the Cheesecake Factory.

I swear, this is the most uptight place in the U.S. They make the southern bible thumpers look like drunken fornicators.

Actually, that isn't true. You still have those southern dry counties where they attempt to practice what they preach. In Utah, it's all about the almighty dollar. They don't want the Mormons offended, but they still want the revenue from the heathens who demand a drink. They just don't want to see you do it.

So, for those of you scoring at home, in Utah: Liquor = Bad; Money = Good. Resulting in some of the dumbest laws currently on the books.

Here is a primer for Utah's silly liquor laws. Utah's Peculiar & Curious Liquor Laws

8 comments:

Jim said...

Where I grew up there is this funny little town called Lynden. You can't buy booze on Sunday. Locals get their drinks in coffee cups so their neighbors won't know. You can be fined if you let your grass grow too long. And they once denied the local high school a dancing license for their prom because they waited too long to apply for it. Sadly, it's nowhere near Utah. Just plain NUTS.

The T-Dude said...

You grew up near Kevin Bacon?

Jim said...

And now your only 2 degrees away...

Carolyn said...

Crazy. Just another example of how crazy zealots need to try and tell everyone else that they are all wrong. If I were a restaurant owner with a liquor license in Salt Lake, I would put my liquor bottles in the WINDOW of my establishment. "C'mon in and get wasted and we'll talk about the Osmonds!" That's the same nasty streak that made me say "Fuck!" when I dropped my Bible in a puddle in the church parking lot before church.

Rachel said...

Oh, Lynden! Yup. Don't spit, not even in your bathroom sink. Your neighbor will see and call your family and you'll get into trouble. I worked with a girl who washed her truck one Sunday morning. By that afternoon her neighbors had tracked down her grandma and she'd gotten into trouble for "working" on the Sabbath. A good girl woulda washed that truck on Saturday and gone to church on Sunday.

I'm with you Carolyn, I'd want to put the booze bottles in the window, maybe with a few beery neon lights.

Jim said...

See that Sizzler down yonder? Yep it just got shut down. Seemed these two rebel gals put the liquor botles in the window where children could see them. Shut them two right down they did...

Steph said...

Next thing you know they'll want hookers to carry a curtain around with them to shield the "clients" during sexy time!

Julie said...

Hey - I think this Sunday I'll go get drunk, spit wash my truck, and sell myself on the street corner.

Oh wait - I'm in Oregon. That happens all the time here.