Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Quick Hits - Now With Senior Citizens

Old, White, Less Educated = A Clinton Win

There will be a huge Clinton win in the West Virginia Democratic primary. Why? Because West Virginia's demographics are a perfect fit for her. Compared to other states, West Virginia is older, whiter and less educated.

According to my wife's cousin, this is exactly why we need Obama to be the Democratic nominee. She thinks the last group of people you want deciding the future of our country are a bunch of racially homogeneous, under-educated geriatrics.

Besides, they're going to vote for McCain anyway. Remember, West Virginia went to George W. Bush in both 2000 and 2004.

CNN: Likely Clinton win in W. Virginia won't derail Obama

Patience is a Virtue

A 46-year-old Louisiana woman, in an apparent fit of anger, ran over her 90-year-old husband in the parking lot of a car wash.

Honey, I don't care how angry you were, the guy was 90! If you really wanted to kill him, just jump out from behind a door and scream "BOO!" Or even better, show a little restraint and let Mother Nature do your dirty work for you. Just like a football team up by 30 points in the fourth quarter, the clock was certainly on your side on this one.

AP: 46-Year-Old Wife Charged With Murdering 90-Year-Old Husband

Psst...Buddy, Wanna Buy a Bridge?

When I was younger, the definition of gullible was someone dumb enough to "buy" the Brooklyn Bridge. In fact, according to the Bartleby.com New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy:

The Brooklyn Bridge is mentioned in several common expressions about the sale of the bridge by one person to another (the bridge is actually public property). A person who “could sell someone the Brooklyn Bridge” is persuasive; a person who “tries to sell the Brooklyn Bridge” is extremely dishonest; a person who “would buy the Brooklyn Bridge” is gullible.
Well, the Brooklyn Bridge is turning 125-years-old.

Happy Birthday Brooklyn Bridge. I'll catch ya at the diner for the early bird. We'll go whole hog and have real cream and sugar in our coffee.

BTW: It makes you wonder, if the Brooklyn Bridge is 125 and still standing up to the pounding of millions of commuters every year, what the hell happened to that bridge in Minneapolis last year? I guess they really don't make'em like they used to.

Yahoo News: Brooklyn Bridge celebrates 125th birthday


Carolyn said...

What kind of whoring, gold-digging 46 year old is married to a 90 year old man anyway? I'll tell you what kind: a stupid one. If she was smarter she would have smothered him in his sleep.
The Brooklyn Bridge is 125 years old? Well, you can be damn sure I won't be driving over that bridge any time soon. It's only a matter of time....

Jim said...

Now the Brooklyn Bridge is old enough to vote for Hillary.