Friday, December 28, 2012

I Be Judge...

As we come to the end of the year, just like the new car models, some new laws will soon be taking effect.

For example, in Georgia, abortions after 20 weeks will be outlawed unless the pregnancy is determined to be medically futile, meaning it would result in the birth of a child unlikely to survive because of a serious defect. Georgia became the seventh state in the country to approve the so-called "fetal pain" act.

In California, clergy members who oppose gay marriage will be exempted from performing said ceremonies. (A quick aside, this might be one of the dumbest things I've heard in a while.  Were they required to perform them before? And who would want to be married by a clergy who didn't believe in their union? Only in Cali man, only in Cali.)

With that in mind, I thought of a few laws that I think should be enacted. Heck, if these states can regulate church activities and a woman's reproductive system, then I - Governor of the great State of Inebriation - should be allowed to sign a few laws into the statute books.

1) No Texting While Talking

When I think of the number conversations I've had to repeat because the person I was talking to had to have their "smart phone" out while we were talking, it just makes me want to piss on poor Steve Job's grave. I honestly don't care if your cat is on fire or if @HottiePants432 just tweeted a new pic, it's just plain rude to talk to someone and text/tweet/post at the same time. 

2) A Ban on Electronic Voting Machines

Since before the days of voting, man has known how to rub one object onto another in order to make a mark.  Even people who couldn't write their own name could "make their mark" on a contract. Voting is too precious, too important to leave any real doubt as to the voter's choices. 

Electronic voting is vulnerable to hacking, computer viruses, and sneaky foul play.  Your vote shouldn't depend on a machine as easy to manipulate as a computer when an old fashioned paper ballot does the job just fine. To put it simply, I've never seen a paper ballot magically change a voter's vote, but it has happened every election with the electronic voting machines.

3) Removal of all Red Light Cameras

They are nothing more that a way to screw motorists out of money.  There is conflicting data as to whether they reduce accidents or increase them, they leave no real room for judgement.  For example, I watched a camera go off because a person stopped their car a little past the wide white stop line.  Why? Because they were about ot make a legal right on red but the gigantic SUV in the left lane was blocking the view of on coming traffic.  The driver stopped, made a legal turn but still generated a ticket.

If you were the man in charge, what would you make the law of the land?

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