Monday, January 24, 2011
Quick Hits: Because Only The Good Die Young, The Rest Live Way Too Long
Dick Cheney has had five heart attacks since 1978. I think it is time for people to quit thinking of his heart issues as an illness when it is clearly an effort on his heart's part to sue for divorce.
I'm not being glib, I'm just calling it like I see it. Like a pissed off wife before she gets the guts to walk away for good, Dick Cheney's heart is failing to put out.
His body has been forced to go to some electronic pseudo heart to fill the void. If his electronic "Terminator" heart was made by Halliburton, it probably cost five times what it should, but 95 percent of it was subsidized by taxpayers which is enough to make a money-grubbing, right-wing hypocrite like Cheney feel 200 percent better.
It also comes with a 20mm cannon and a self destruct button, but it won't open a bottle or take a message. Hey, what do you expect from a defense contract?
I might be in the youngest demographic that remembers seeing Jack LaLanne on TV. I am also one of the youngest people you will ever meet who saw Elvis perform live in concert, but that is another story.
Jack was the definition of clean living and commitment to exercise. He is credited with opening the very first health club in Oakland in 1936. And it was just the beginning, Working out was a religion for Jack and his followers. As he put it so clearly - at the age of 92:
"Billy Graham was for the hereafter. I'm for the here and now."
Well, thanks to pneumonia, Jack is no longer with us. But for all my gym rat friends, I want to say thank you for making working out a fun, cool thing to do. Go get'em Jack... I assume you'll have the saints up at 4am for that first jog through the Pearly Gates. That's good, they look a little soft in all the pictures, I'm sure they could use your help.