Thursday, September 13, 2007

Quick Hits and a Joke about Midget Nuns

I've been really busy at work so I haven't had time to really write, but there were a few things that I felt the need to mention.

Britney at the VMA's: Two things. Number one, all of these people on her about being fat should go to hell. She's had two kids and will never look like that naughty school girl again. Frankly, I thought she looked fine...it was the outfit that sucked. I suppose that's appropriate because so did her performance which brings me to point number two: MTV should be ashamed for using her that way.

That was a train wreck and they HAD to know it but they let it happen because they knew it would draw viewers. It was like picking on a handicapped child for the public spectacle and enjoyment of others. How bad must ratings be if that is what you have to do to draw viewers.

Fred Thompson Announces Candidacy: Sure, why not. He has better face and name recognition than most of those shlumps in the race. Hell, it is probably the only time he will ever have a shot at the nomination and like baseball teams, once the play-offs have started, anything can happen. If you can somehow win the nomination, once the general election starts, you never know when pictures of your opponent having hot sex with a bisexual goat are going to show up. Let's face it, if George W. could win the election last time, it can happen for anyone.

Anita Roddick, Dame Commander of the British Empire, Founder of The Body Shop retail chain dies at age 64: A friend of mine worked for her and I had the chance to meet her once. She was energetic, irreverant and committed to her social and political beliefs. She proved to the world that you could run a business, be successful and be a progressive intent on helping those less fortunate than yourself all at the same time. She was on the Board of Directors for Mother Jones Magazine, you don't get much farther left than that.

Anita liked a dirty joke and in her honor, here is one she reportedly told in the waiting room at the Louisiana State Penitentiary at Angola while campaigning on behalf of Herman Wallace and Albert Woodfox of the Angola Three.

In your memory Anita:

The seven dwarfs were in a Catholic church. They were sitting near the rear and as the priest was speaking, they whispered and giggled amongst themselves, causing quite a disturbance.

All of a sudden, Dopey stands up and says, "Father, are there any midget nuns in the church?" "No," said the priest, "There are no midget nuns in the church."

A little time passed and the dwarfs were again whispering and giggling amongst themselves causing quite a disturbance and noticeably angering the priest.

Soon, Dopey stands up again and asks, "Father, are there any midget nuns in the city?"

"No, my son, there are no midget nuns in the city or in the church." says the priest. Again the dwarfs resume their annoying giggling to the dismay of the priest.

Once again, Dopey stands up and asks "Father, are there any midget nuns in the state?"

"No, my son, there are no midget nuns in the state, in the city, and no midget nuns in the church." exclaimed the priest, obviously upset.

The dwarfs continue their interference.

Dopey stands up and asks, "Father, are there any midget nuns in the country?"

The priest, totally angered, exclaims "No, my son, there are no midget nuns in the church, in the city, in the state, no midget nuns in the country, there are no midget nuns in the whole world!!! Now sit down!!!!!"

Soon afterwards, a chant could be heard from the rear of the church:

"Dopey fucked a penguin. Dopey fucked a penguin."

5 comments:

phishez_rule said...

She looks fantastic! I mean, she must have done some serious work to end up looking like that after kids. Lord knows she hasn't spent that time with her kids.

Steph said...

Agree 100% about Britney. I thought she looked damn hot! It's time to stop poking fun at her and get the chick some help.

The T-Dude said...

Phishez - Ha! Yeah, she might have dropped a lot of the baby weight, but I think she did it by dropping the babies with the nanny!

Steph - I couldn't agree more. Listen, I never thought she was much of a singer, but at least she had built a career. That's long gone now and she needs to get her shit together. Help her someone!

Rachel said...

Bwahahahahahahahahah

I love that joke!



Yeah, studio execs and producers are the minions of Satan. Don't ever trust them to do what's good for the actor or the audience. All they want is ratings.

thephoenixnyc said...

Wow, if that's fat, then I'minto fgat chicks.