Wednesday, September 05, 2007

You know, I might change my mind...I'm still not gay!

"Whoa, now wait a minute people. I might have been a little hasty back there. You see, it wasn't what that cop back in Minnesota said it was. I didn't do anything wrong. When he said that he saw my hand come under the stall, it wasn't really my hand, it was this one. One of those new cyberhands. You see, it just fell out of my pocket when I sat down on the toilet and started playing footie... I mean tapping my foot to my internal soundtrack -- The theme from Deliverance. I wasn't cruisin' for a homosexual encounter, I'M NOT GAY!

I know I plead guilty, but that was just because I panicked and didn't realize that I could have a lawyer and stuff. You know, in Idaho, we don't arrest faggo...I mean homosexuals, we kick the crap out of them so I was actually afraid for my well being. Yeah, that's it. And I was afraid I was going to miss my plane to Idaho...to see Morgan Fairchild, 'cause I'M NOT GAY!"

Craig reconsiders decision to resign

On a personal note, I'm pretty sure that I had nothing to do with this.

I know, I sorta asked for it with my last post. I didn't really mean it unless, of course, the media really is going to hound him for the next few months making the whole Republican party look like complete hypocrites when they try to sell voters their bastardized and divisive version of wholesome, Christian family values. If that's going to happen, then I'm just going to get the extra large popcorn and some Goobers and watch the show.

3 comments:

thephoenixnyc said...

Very funny T. I love the cyber hand.

Rachel said...

Don't forget the Dr. Pepper!

The T-Dude said...

Phoenixnyc: Thanks. I was looking on eBay and haven't found a good one yet. They must be one of those Congressional perks.

Rachel: Oh yeah, the jumbo size that requires two trips to the john to finish...oh wait...never mind. Considering what seems to be going on in public restrooms, make mine a small.