Girlfriend Can Sing!

My eldest daughter can sing. Not just in the shower sing, but really sing. She has always been able to do it, even as a munchkin. If I didn't love her so much, I'd hate her out of petty jealousy.

You don't believe me?

Click here to hear her sing.

My daughter is the alto. The soprano is a friend of hers and fellow chorus singer. She's pretty freaking awesome as well.

Did I mention my daughter is only 12? Yeah, I know how you feel. It just ain't fair. But man, how I love to hear her sing.

Quick Hits - Defending the Walocaust and More

Free Speech Beats Back Walmart

Okay, I don't happen to find them very funny, but then maybe satire isn't always supposed to be funny. This 50 year-old computer geek started a website Walocaust.com to lampoon Walmart. He acknowledges that it is likely in poor taste (and I agree with him), but feels the damage that Walmart does to workers and our country are worth it. He also has Walqaeda.com

Needless to say, Walmart sued. That's what huge companies like Walmart do. They sue. In this case, Walmart lost. To quote the judge:

"The fact that the real Wal-Mart name and marks are strong and recognizable makes it unlikely that a parody — particularly one that calls to mind the genocide of millions of people, another that evokes the name of a notorious terrorist organization ... will be confused with Wal-Mart's real products."

Free speech wins again! Although, not just because the speech was protected, but because that speech didn't infringe on Walmart's ability to make a buck. Not the best reason in the world, but I'll take it. (BTW: The photo is from journeyswithjood.com because I think this one actually is funny.)

Wal-Mart Critic Wins Judgment in 'Walocaust' Lawsuit


The Big Miss Surrey with the Crown on Top

Size 12-14 Chloe Marshall was crowned Miss Surrey in March 2008. That means she is off to the finals to see if she can be chosen Miss Great Britain or some such thing.

Okay, she's cute. Nice smile, great hair. But why does anyone care, and why does ABC News care? I'm all for striking a blow against the thin and vapid, but isn't there something more important to be covered than a local plus-sized pageant winner in England?

ABC News: Plus-Sized and Proud of It


Mr. Gillooly, The First Lady Would Like a Word

You know you are a special candidate when officials from your own party are referring to your campaign tactics as the "Tanya Harding Option". No one makes me think of hope and fairness more than Tanya Harding.

It has too stop. Someone has to tell Sen. Clinton that this just isn't her time and that trying to win at all costs is a selfish, dangerous act. We have a chance to make a significant difference in the future of our country and her campaign is taking a steel pipe to the knees of Obama at every turn. Not only is it damaging to the party, it's also wrong.

Dems Fear Clinton's 'Tonya Harding' Option

Enquiring Minds

When it comes to the New York Governor's sex scandal, there is one last question that people across the country would like answered:

For $4,000, did she Spitzer or swallow?

Sorry. I couldn't help myself.

I'm a pun addict.

I'm seeking treatment.

The High Road with Sen. Obama

If you haven't watched Obama's "race" speech, you need to. And when you do, I want you to think about the last time you heard a politician speak to you with such candor and conviction. I know, you're a busy person. You have to get the kids fed, the laundry done etc. If you can watch nothing more, watch part three. I think you'll see something new and humble and compelling and hopeful.

Please. Give it a look.

Regardless of your political proclivities, this is one of those moments in our time that you need to witness.

Obama in Philly: Part 1

Obama in Philly: Part 2

Obama in Philly: Part 3

Obama in Philly: Part 4

Quick Hits: Leave Town For Two Days...

Wow.

Off I go to Atlantic City for a conference and all kinds of things happen. I suppose if I was a good boy, I would have logged in and blogged, but frankly, I was too pooped for prose. That being said, better late than never with another edition of Quick Hits.

Spritzer Pays The Full Price

Everyone has heard about this, but there are two things about this that I find interesting.

First, you would think a former prosecutor would have enough sense to cover his money trail if he was going to arrange for $4,000 hookers to meet him at the Mayflower Hotel in DC.

What an idiot. This guy was a rising star. President was a possibility for him one day. Now, he is going to have a hard time getting elected president of the local Rotary Club.

Listen up folks. If you are so inclined as to seek public office at the federal or state-wide level, take this advice. Don't dittle anyone but your wife. If you can't do that, then don't get married. It isn't that hard for most of us to keep our members in our pants, you ought to be able to do it.

Second, it just got even harder for politicians pay for sex. It is now a career path for hookers to get a high profile client and then get outed. Apparently, the Gov's hooker is an aspiring singer who, thanks to him getting caught, has made 200K from downloads of her single. What's next? A record deal? A book deal? Movie rights?

If you are a high profile politician and you favor the company of hookers, you better be sweating bullets right now. Each and every one of them is now trying to see the path to the cash thanks to this chick.

Bloomberg: `Kristen,' Linked to Spitzer, Becomes Pop Star on Web

Hooker's an online hit - to tune of $200G

Love Gone Up, Up and Away

It seems this guy wanted his potential bride to be to fully experience the moment when he "popped" the question. That's why he put the $12,000 ring inside a balloon.

Cute, right? Hand her the pin as you pop the question. Not bad if you're into that sort of thing.

Unfortunately, he filled the balloon with helium, not plain air. And when he walked out of he shop a gust of wind took the balloon for ride. He chased it and looked for two hours but never found it.

The quote?

"I felt like such a plonker. It cost a fortune and I knew my girlfriend would kill me."

That's the price you pay for trying to be too creative.

Honey, will you marry... Oh. Never mind...



The Movie of Deathly Hallows to be Split in Two?

I know, most of you don't care about this, but I do, and my wife does. And I know Jim does. But one of the first things that crossed my mind after I finished Deathly Hallows was "This is way too long for a movie and you really can't cut too much out or it will suck."

Well, the producer is talking about breaking the book into two movies. From a marketing standpoint, it's brilliant. It's like a two for one sale only reversed. The studio, the producer, everyone is going to make money hand over fist.

But it is also the right thing to do for the story. The book is way too long and way to dense to be stripped down to 2-plus hours of film. It would suck and no one would be happy.

I just wish it was coming out this summer, before Daniel Radcliffe gets his first gray hair.

David Heyman Talks Harry Potter Split

Foley F*cks The R's One Last Time

Remember these two?

The one in the dark suit is former Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert. The other is former Florida Congressman Mark Foley. Mark Foley liked to dittle male house pages. He was particularly fond of using the Internet to discuss the length of their dicks and their masturbation technique.

Dennis Hastert was the guy who tried to protect Foley's dirty little secret. He didn't want to lose a Republican seat in the House. It didn't work, Hastert was disgraced, gave up the Speaker's job and eventually his congressional seat altogether.

Which brings us to today...

Bill Foster, a former scientist at the Fermi laboratory outside of Chicago and a Democrat just won the special election to replace Hastert. Foster beat Republican business man named Jim Oberweis.

Sure, nobody likes the current state of affairs and everyone is clamoring for change, but I would bet a nice chunk of change that the Republican cover-up of the Foley scandal and Hastert's participation in that cover up helped get Bill Foster elected.

Another victory for the party of change and hope and another defeat for the party of hate and hypocrisy.

Thanks Mark, appreciate the help. BTW. How'd that rehab go?

CNN: Democrat wins seat formerly held by Hastert

Cranky Conservative, Texas Turnout and Ugly Campaign Games

William F. Buckley

William F. Buckley died at his desk on Feb. 27. He was at different times in his life a racist, a fighter against gay rights, and even a supporter of marijuana decriminalization. He was the voice of classic conservatism and I disagreed with nearly everything that he said.

But the way he said it was beautiful.

I listen to what today passes as conservative rhetoric in the forms of Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity and I already miss Buckley. I offer this opening paragraph from a 2006 column on the Palestinian elections:

“So . . . Democracy rides again.

“What disconcerts so is the obstinacy of the democratists in believing that good heavy doses of democracy will bring eudemonia and peace everlasting.

“The most that can be said with confidence about democracy is that certain satisfactions are given to those who practice it. If three-quarters of your gang voted for this kind of government, then you live with this kind of government. If the citizens are mad at other governments, they have the option of going to war against them, which non-democratic governments often do. But if there is self-rule, they have only themselves to blame, and relief is in their own hands at the next election.”

Nearly poetry. Comparing that to pretty much anything that ever comes from the pie-hole of Rush Limbaugh is like comparing caviar to goose shit.

RIP Mr. Buckley. I disliked your political beliefs, but I loved the way you defended them.

Texas Turnout and Ugly Campaign Games

They are still counting in Texas. According to CNN, 1.1 million voters showed up to caucus in Texas, that is double the number from the last election. It does a body good to know that people are this motivated to participate in the political process. But there are already allegations of voter fraud and chicanery coming from the Hillary camp.

From CNN.com

Clinton's campaign, meanwhile, says it may challenge the state's caucus results, citing what they call "hundreds of complaints" of mischief caused by the campaign at caucus, The Associated Press reported.

Hillary, please stop. One of the driving factors behind the turnout we are seeing is the anger people feel about the voting irregularities that appear to have cost the Democrats the White House in the last two general elections. This is not the kind of card you want to play when the Democrats are finally drawing in the Independent and liberal Republican voters.

We need to offer them a real choice of honesty and hope against the Republicans, not a politics as usual, in fighting, win at all costs choice. Remember, this isn’t about you, it is about us. It is about the country and the future, not your political ambitions. I’m begging you; quit trying to drive down participation and belief in change. We need hope, we need inspiration, and we need to believe that the country can escape the quagmire we currently are struggling to survive.

Hell, I need it. I need to know that whoever gets the Democratic nomination got it not by smearing the process and his or her opponent, but got it on the strength of their message and ideals. Prove to America that we Democrats really are different, that we care not just about winning campaigns, but about changing the business-as-usual politics that have put us in the mess we are in today.

Please.

Only in Freaking Texas

First off, I don't ever want to hear anyone talk about how screwed up Iowa is for having a caucus. In Texas, they have a primary followed by a caucus and they both get used to allocate delegates. That's just screwed up. Pick a freakin' lane folks. In some precincts, they waited for hours to get into the room because the polling people weren't out yet. In one precinct in Austin for example, they actually caucused in the parking lot because the nearly 200 people who showed up were waiting for the room to open up. Stupid.

Now, the way it works is the primary counts for 2/3 of the delegates and the caucuses count for 1/3. Based on the primary, Hillary got 65 delegates and Obama got 61. They are still counting the caucus votes so there is a real chance that, in the end, Obama is going to actually win Texas.

Now that's just stupid. One way or the other please.

As We Hit The Final Stretch, It is Neck-and-Neck

The latest polls in Ohio and Texas show Hillary and Obama are duking it out for every vote, with Hillary having a slight lead in Ohio and Obama and Hillary in a dead heat in Texas. Both are within the margin of error.

Hillary's support among Hispanics and older women is keeping Texas close and it seems that the demographics of Ohio are working against Obama. But no mater what the forces are, you need to hold on to your shorts kids cause these are going to be close.

Clinton and Obama tied in Texas, close in Ohio