Friday, September 12, 2008

Comment Spam

For those of you who might be wondering why I deleted a comment in the previous post, it is because it was comment spam from a company selling a device that claimed to make a man's penis bigger. They didn't actually say that, but when you went to the web site, that's what it was.

They actually offered to send me one to "give to a friend to try." Then they wanted me to write a review of the product. First off, by a friend, I know they meant me, they just didn't want to imply that I might have a short cock. But supposing I took them at their word, that certainly would make for an interesting conversation.

"Hey Joe, I noticed in the locker room the other day that your thang ain't exactly swinging. You should try this new device that someone I don't know sent me. Then in a few weeks, let's get together and measure your manhood to see if it worked."

Seriously, you have got to be kidding me.

I suppose I had it coming. A few months ago I was taken aback by the number of penis stories in the news and did a Quick Hits posting on it. My blog probably ended up in their google search as a likely place to market their product.

If someone would only offer to send me a product I would use, like a cocktail shaker or a do-it-yourself Impeach the President kit. Those are things I would be happy to review.

29 comments:

Jim said...

Honestly it wasn't me.

But if (on the other hand) you still want that enlargement kit, I can put together a goodie bag for you and send it right over.

I know people.

Carolyn said...

First of all, my darling husband doesn't need any help in any of his "departments". Second of all, if you want to put together a goodie bag, Jim...you go ahead and send it right over. That would be fun!!

The T-Dude said...

First off, let me say to Jim: Thanks, but no thanks to the enlargement kit. I am what I am and I'm thrilled about it. That being said, only a moron turns down a goody bag from someone who knows people. And I know you do.

Secondly, to my dearest Carolyn:

Thank you, you are too kind. As you can tell, my wife is not a moron. She knows you don't say no to a person who knows people.

Jane said...

oh, man, it's gonna be great when you check your visitor referral pages in a few days. Ha!

EXSENO said...

OK I'm sorry but I can't stop laughing. Thanks you made my day. A few years ago everyone started getting ads in there comment section and we were all bombarded with all kinds of ad's more ad's in our comment sections then comments from our reader, so I hope that doesn't start happening to you, but if it does just delete, delete, delete and they'll finally give up.

Phil said...

Penis Dimension
By: Frank Zappa
Album: 200 Motels

Mark Volman:
Penis dimension.

Howard Kaylan:
Penis dimension.

Everybody:
Penis dimension is worrying me.
I can't hardly sleep at night
'Cause of penis dimension

Do you worry?
Do you worry a lot?

No!

Do you worry?
Do you worry and moan ...
That the size of your cock is not monsrtous enough?

It's your penis dimension!
Penis dimension!

Howard Kaylan:
Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah

Mark Volman:
Hiya friends. Now just be honest about it. Did you ever consider the possibliity that your penis, and in the case of many dignified ladies, that the size of the titties themselves might provide elements of subconscious tension? Weird, twisted anxieties that could force a human being to have to become a politician. A policeman. A jesuit monk. A rock and roll guitar player. A wino. You name it. Or in the case of the ladies, the ones that can't afford a silicone beef-up, may become writers of hot books.

Howard Kaylan:
"Manuel, the gardener, placed his burning phallus in her quivering quim."

Mark Volman:
Yes, or they become Carmelite nuns.

Howard Kaylan:
"Gonzo, the lead guitar player, placed his mutated member in her slithering slit." Ha ha ha!

Mark Volman:
Ooh, or racehorse jockeys. There is no reason why you, or your loved one should suffer. Things are bad enough, without the size of your organ adding even more misery to the troubles of the world.

Howard Kaylan:
Right on, right on!

Mark Volman:
Now, if your a lady and you've got munchkin tits, you can console yourself with this age-old line from primary school:

Mark Volman & Howard Kaylan:
Anything over a mouthful, is wasted.

Mark Volman:
Yes! and isn't it the truth? And if you're a guy, one night you're at a party and you're trying to be cool, I mean, you aren't even wearing any underwear your being so cool, and somebody hits on you one night, and looks you up and down and he says uh,

Howard Kaylan:
Eight inches or less?


Mark Volman:
Well let me tell you, brother, that's the time when you got to turn around and look that son of a bitch right between the eyes. And you got to tell him these words:

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Anonymous said...

...please where can I buy a unicorn?

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