Sunday, October 05, 2008

Quick Hits: Now with gravity!

They're Falling on Hard Times

To quote Frank Zappa, "Beauty knows no pain." But apparently Frank didn't consider financial pain in his equation. According to the this article, women are putting off those breast enhancements and tummy tucks because of the crappy economy.

At least there is one good thing coming from this financial mess. If women can learn to accept who they are and quit worrying about those five extra pounds we'll all be happier.

As economy sags, so do breasts.

Drop-Dead Funny

When I was younger, my Dad (the local library director) used to bring home a film projector and a stack of Blackhawk Films. These were mostly one or two reel shorts of Laurel and Hardy or Buster Keaton. We'd take the picture off the living room wall, pop popcorn and just die laughing.

I was particularly fond of the Laurel and Hardy flicks. So much so, that I spent a couple of days in front of the mirror perfecting a Stan Laurel face. I'm still pretty good at it, but no one under the age of 60 remembers who Stan Laurel is so it's kinda useless now.

I think I'll see if I can't get a few of their flicks from BlockBuster and show them to the kids. They are black and white so they might not buy into them, but it's worth a shot.

Oliver Hardy Festival

Gettin' a Little Zero-G

Someone offered Virgin Galactic, the company putting together the first commercial passenger space flights, $1,000,000 dollars to let them film the first zero-gravity porno. In this case, Virgin lived up to it's name and turned down the deal.

Virgin Galactic Turns Down Sex-in-Space Proposal

If anyone is going to figure out how to actually "do it" in zero-gravity, it might take the trained professionals of the porn industry to really make it work.

According to NASA physician Jim Logan:

...spontaneous sex in space could be "a little underwhelming."

"It's a pretty messy environment, when you think about it," he said. "And for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. However ... I can well imagine how compelling, inspiring, and quite frankly stimulating choreographed sex in zero-G might be in the hands of a skilled and talented cinematographer with appropriate lighting and music."

When the crowd tittered, Logan added, "I'm not kidding: Sex in zero-G is going to have to be more or less choreographed. Otherwise it's just going to be a wild flail."

If and when the end is near and we are forced to flee to space, who knew that the key to our survival as a species could well be in the hands of pioneering pornographers. That should have been the pitch to Virgin:

"It's not porn, it's a training film."


Jim said...

Code word: documentary.

EXSENO said...

Ah yes, the big boob boom everyone wants to look like a Barbie doll.

I am proud to say that I remember
Laurel and Hardy and I am in my 60's but the truth is they were old re-runs even to those of us in our early 60's.
It was for us like watching an old movie. Laurel and Hardy shows were made from 1030 to 1944, 1944 the Year I was born. I loved watching them, they were hilarious.

Life Of An Emt said...

come on now I love watching the classic movie channel if i get a chance I am 36 and loved laurel and hardy....but abbott and costello was my favorite and earol flynn was god *drools* I think I have seen all of his movies and wished they would still come on.