Do you wanna Twitter?

It sounds slightly dirty, doesn't it? Actually it is a way to post short blurbs from a mobile device to an online community. Twitter describes itself as

Twitter is a service for friends, family, and co–workers to communicate and stay connected through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing?

I'm giving it a try. What the heck -- it's free! You can follow and post messages online or via mobile device. I'm using my text friendly LG Rumor with QWERTY keyboard to post on the fly.

You only have 140 characters to play with so you have to be pithy. Frankly, I'm not sure if I like it or not, but I'm having fun playing with it. You can follow the "twitters" of as many people as you like. I've just grabbed a few randoms and I'm reading along as they post about their days. Some are funny, some stupid. It is a touch voyeuristic, but fun for the moment.

To check out Twitter.com just click: Twitter.com

If you want to follow me, just "find and follow" TheTDude

Edwards Endorses Obama

Well, if that doesn't convince the rest of you that the time has come for Sen. Clinton to step aside, what will?

Edwards has endorsed Obama. Obama has more delegates, he leads in the national polls, he leads in the popular vote. Sen. Clinton, on behalf of the Democratic Party I belong to, on behalf of the Democratic Party I have served since the age of 11, I am asking, please, suspend your campaign and join us in the true fight, the fight to regain our country.

Men and women are serving and dying in an unjust war. Families are losing their homes in a housing crisis borne from ill-advised economic policies. Gas prices artificially inflated with the blood of U.S. soldiers are making people choose between food and housing and driving. Now is not the time to let the heat of the battle cloud your judgement as to what the the right thing is to do.

I worked for the Democratic National Committee. I worked at Clinton headquarters in Little Rock in 1992. I was a minor member of your husband's administration serving at the pleasure of the President. I was on the ground fighting so that our country could change direction after the first Bush presidency. And now Sen. Clinton, as a private citizen, no longer in the trenches of political intrigue, I am asking for you to return the favor of my service, service of which I am most proud. Step aside and let us unite in a common fight against the wrongs we have suffered for the past eight years.

You say you are ready to serve. Right now, we need you to prove your willingness by stepping aside so that we can, as a party, as a country, unite around a common goal, the election of Sen. Obama to the office of the President of the United States.

Today is not your time, unless you embrace the noble act of concession that will be regarded by history as an act for the greater good. The greater good, not personal glory, is what you are fighting for, is it not?

Step aside Sen. Clinton and allow the forces of tolerance and unification to heal the wounds of this our United States. Doing so would be not only an act of leadership, but an act of the ultimate courage. The courage to ignore personal glory and gain for the greater good.

I know you are capable, I only ask that you act so that others can see the strength that I know you possess. Step aside Sen. Clinton and let the world see the hero that you can be, let the world know that we in America are not what George Bush embodies. We are united, we are compassionate, and we are strong enough to put our differences aside for the common good of all.

Quick Hits - Now With Senior Citizens

Old, White, Less Educated = A Clinton Win

There will be a huge Clinton win in the West Virginia Democratic primary. Why? Because West Virginia's demographics are a perfect fit for her. Compared to other states, West Virginia is older, whiter and less educated.

According to my wife's cousin, this is exactly why we need Obama to be the Democratic nominee. She thinks the last group of people you want deciding the future of our country are a bunch of racially homogeneous, under-educated geriatrics.

Besides, they're going to vote for McCain anyway. Remember, West Virginia went to George W. Bush in both 2000 and 2004.

CNN: Likely Clinton win in W. Virginia won't derail Obama


Patience is a Virtue

A 46-year-old Louisiana woman, in an apparent fit of anger, ran over her 90-year-old husband in the parking lot of a car wash.

Honey, I don't care how angry you were, the guy was 90! If you really wanted to kill him, just jump out from behind a door and scream "BOO!" Or even better, show a little restraint and let Mother Nature do your dirty work for you. Just like a football team up by 30 points in the fourth quarter, the clock was certainly on your side on this one.

AP: 46-Year-Old Wife Charged With Murdering 90-Year-Old Husband

Psst...Buddy, Wanna Buy a Bridge?

When I was younger, the definition of gullible was someone dumb enough to "buy" the Brooklyn Bridge. In fact, according to the Bartleby.com New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy:

The Brooklyn Bridge is mentioned in several common expressions about the sale of the bridge by one person to another (the bridge is actually public property). A person who “could sell someone the Brooklyn Bridge” is persuasive; a person who “tries to sell the Brooklyn Bridge” is extremely dishonest; a person who “would buy the Brooklyn Bridge” is gullible.

Well, the Brooklyn Bridge is turning 125-years-old.

Happy Birthday Brooklyn Bridge. I'll catch ya at the diner for the early bird. We'll go whole hog and have real cream and sugar in our coffee.

BTW: It makes you wonder, if the Brooklyn Bridge is 125 and still standing up to the pounding of millions of commuters every year, what the hell happened to that bridge in Minneapolis last year? I guess they really don't make'em like they used to.

Yahoo News: Brooklyn Bridge celebrates 125th birthday

Clinton and Eight Belles, Two Broken Horses in Two Great Races

It is 11:32 pm here in the Midwest and Indiana is still too close to call. Clinton has 51 percent of the vote with Obama at 49 percent. Even with 92 percent of the vote in, no one is saying anything about the winner of this race. The reason? Lake county, the county closest to Chicago, has only reported 56 percent of their vote. Of that 56 percent, Obama has 65 percent.

So what does this mean. Well, two things. First, Obama could actually still win Indiana, but even if he doesn't, we have a little more clarity as to who the nominee should be for the Democrats.

Obama creamed Clinton in North Carolina by somewhere in the range of 230,000 votes. With a virtual split of Indiana and a big win in North Carolina, he has increased his lead in the popular vote and the pledged delegate vote. Even if he can't get to the magic number of 2,025 needed to secure a first ballot nomination, he will most likely lead Clinton when they walk into Denver.

The time has come for the good of the party for Hillary Clinton to stop campaigning. The math for her is terrible. And this isn't a sport, it is the future of our country. Unlike football or baseball, you shouldn't keeping fighting until the the final whisle for the sake of sportsmanship. Instead, for the good of the party and the good of the country, she needs to step aside.

She was hoping for a miracle, but what she got is what most of us get on a daily basis, a healthy dose of reality.

Like the filly who broke down at the Kentucky Derby, Hillary is going to finish second, but if she rides all the way to the finish line, she'll end up as nothing more than an also ran who ended up more hurt than the race was worth. And like those of us who love the Derby, watching her fail in her effort will do nothing more than leave a sour taste in our mouths.

Sen. Clinton, please don't be the Eight Belles of this campaign season. We're going to need you during the general election and after we take the White House. And in a race this important, a broken horse does us no good.

Annie Del Sol

I saw this on another blog and thought I'd give it a try. It's one of those made up name games.

1. Your Rock Star name (first pet, current vehicle):

Annie Del Sol

2. Your 'gangsta name (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite shoe):

Cherry Reabok

3. Your Native American name(favorite color, favorite animal):

Red Frog

4. Your Soap Opera name(middle name, city where you were born):

Anthony Cedar Falls

5. Your Star Wars name(first three letters of your last name, first two letters of your first):

Miphi

6. Superhero name(second favorite color, favorite drink):

Blue Scotch

7. NASCAR name(first names of your grandfathers):

Russell Douglas

8. Stripper name(the name of your favorite perfume, cologne/scent, favorite candy):

English Leather Mounds

9. TV Weather Anchor name(Your 5Th grade teachers' last name, a city that starts with the same letter):

O'Donnell Orlando

10. Spy name(your favorite season/holiday, and your favorite flower):

Spring Tulip

11. Cartoon name(favorite fruit, article of clothing you're wearing right now):

Apple Robe

12. Hippie name(what you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree):

Bagel Oak

13. "Adult film" star name(first pet, first street that you lived on):

Annie Prospect

Quick Hits - For Medicinal Purposes

I'm sorry for the kind of graphic nature of parts of this post, but the news yesterday was just a little penis heavy. It happens that way sometimes.

I've Got Indiana On My Mind

Hillary won Pennsylvania by ten points. That means the split of Pennsylvania's pledged delegates is at least 80 for Sen. Clinton and 66 for Sen. Obama with 12 yet to be decided.

That means that Sen. Obama still has a triple digit lead in delegates, the lead in the popular vote, and in a recent ABCNews poll Democrats said 2-1 that Sen. Obama is more likely to win in the fall.

Indiana voters, I implore you. Put an end to this. Vote Obama and let the Democrats regroup for the real fight, the fight for the keys to the White House.

AP: Clinton's win still leaves her the underdog

Just A Closer Float With Thee?


Whatever happened to the church bake sale or bowl-a-thon for charity? I guess in these days of Survivor and Fear Factor, the public just isn't entertained by peach cobbler and rented shoes anymore.

Roman Catholic Rev. Adelir Antonio de Carli decided to raise money for a "spiritual" rest-stop for truckers in Paranagua, Brazil. To do it, he wanted to break a record for the longest time in-flight with helium-filled party balloons. That's right, he strapped a bunch of party balloons to a chairs and planned to fly for 19 hours at an altitude of around 17,000 feet.

They have found balloons in the ocean, but no sign of him.

International Herald: Rescuers reach balloons off Brazil's coast but fail to find priest seeking flight record

It's Not That, I'm Self-Medicating!

Aussie researchers have published a study that says men who masturbate five or more times a week are a third less likely to get prostate cancer.

Wow, this is a huge turn around. We've gone from self-gratification causing hairy palms and blindness to it being a potentially life saving activity. The next thing you know, massage parlors are going to start advertising prostate treatments.

"Excuse me sir, can I interest you in the latest prostate cancer preventative? Wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more."

Yahoo News: Masturbation may prevent prostate cancer


Lynchings in Congo as penis theft panic hits capital

I don't even know what to say. Sometimes the stories just speak for themselves.

This from Reuters:

Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.

Police arrested the accused sorcerers and their victims in an effort to avoid the sort of bloodshed seen in Ghana a decade ago, when 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs. The 27 men have since been released.

"I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke," Kinshasa's police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko said.

"But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said.

For the full story, go to: Lynchings in Congo as penis theft panic hits capital

Mitt Has A Funny Writer

The following came from my friend Phil who has a well developed sense of funny.

WASHINGTON (CNN) - At Wednesday night's Radio and Television Correspondents Dinner in Washington, D.C., former Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney gave his "Top 10 Reasons for Dropping Out of the Race":

10. There weren't as many Osmonds as I thought.

9. I got tired of corkscrew landings under sniper fire.

8. As a lifelong hunter, I didn't want to miss the start of the varmint season.

7. There wasn't room for two Christian leaders.

6. I was upset that no one had bothered to search my passport files.

5. I needed an excuse to get fat, grow a beard and win the Nobel prize.

4. I took a bad fall at a campaign rally and broke my hair.

3. I wanted to finally take off that dark suit and tie, and kick back in a light-colored suit and tie.

2. Once my wife Ann realized I couldn't win, my fundraising dried up.

1. There was a miscalculation in our theory: "As Utah goes, so goes the nation."

They forgot: "Did you know that the President only makes six figures. Who can live on that!?"

50 Great Comedy Routines of All-Time

Every one of these lists is flawed because personal preference varies by perspective, intelligence and experience. A perfect example, I have lots of friends who think Will Farrell's movies are drop dead funny. But I saw Old School, Talledaga Nights and Anchorman and I might have found three or four laughs among them.

Different funny for different people.

But this is a good list with a lot of laughs to be had. Lots of SNL with a healthy dose of Python.

Give it a look:

50 Greatest Comedy Sketches

Quick Hits - Now with MISINFORMATION!

"I also heard if you pull out..."

To give you an idea as to the average IQ of the FoxNews demographic, just take a look at the latest offering from their so-called "Sexpert".

FOXSexpert: Eight Sex Myths You Should Not Believe

For example, number seven on the sex myth list: "A woman must have an orgasm in order to conceive."

If you are reading that and are surprised to learn that it isn't true, then you are a living, breathing example of why sex education in the schools is not only needed, but should be required.

Burning Bushes and Guns Ablazin'

My friend Phil sent me an email the other day. It said simply:

"Can we take his gun now?"

For Actor Charlton Heston, Gun Rights Were 11th Commandment

But was there a sniper?

First, she's under sniper fire in Bosnia. Now she's telling half truths about poor a woman dying from a lack of health care. Don't get me wrong, I know men and women and children are dying in this country because they don't have access to quality health care, but Sen. Clinton doesn't have to be telling incomplete or misleading stories to prove her point.

I think this is one of the primary problems that people have with her. She doesn't flat out lie, but she has no problem gussying up a truth to make it seem to be something more than it really is.

Clinton's tale part truth, part errors

Slowly Climbing Over the Hill and Woman Bites Dog

Obama Narrows Gap in Pennsylvania

Obama is slowly climbing over the Hill in Pennsylvania according to the latest polls.

The latest Rasmussen Reports telephone survey in Pennsylvania shows Clinton leading Barack Obama by just five percentage points, 47% to 42%. For Clinton, that five-point edge is down from a ten-point lead a week ago, a thirteen-point lead in mid-March and a fifteen-point advantage in early March.

RasmussenReports.com

To add insult to injury, Obama raised $40 million in March. That is about double what the Clinton camp is expected to report. They are yet to release their figures.

So, let's look at the score card. Obama is leading in fundraising, delegates, primary popular vote and the national polls. Hillary is leading in some individual states but is all but mathematically eliminated from the race for non-Super Delegates.

And yet she continues to say she's in it to the end.

Did she make a bet with Bill or something? Has the Republican National Committee offered to help her pay off any lingering debt after the race? Why, other than hubris and blind ambition, is she still attacking Obama?

Hillary has become the guest who refused to leave the party even after everyone else has gone. Go home Sen. Clinton, please. We'd like to clean up the house and get ready for the general election.

Woman Bites Dog

Most people have heard the "Man Bites Dog" definition of news. It isn't news if a dog bites a man, but it's news if a man bites a dog. According to Wikipedia:

The phrase comes from a quote attributed to New York Sun editor John B. Bogart: "When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news."

Apparently, at FoxNews.com, equal opportunity is being practiced when it comes to this axiom.

Woman Bites Pit Bull to Save Her Dog