I have a head cold.
Not that you give a rat's ass, but I thought I'd share.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Monday, February 08, 2010
Of Life, Empathy and Avian Death
I have to change my profile.
People who know me know that little things like this are exactly the things that I just can't seem to get excited about doing. But it needs to be done. You see, the house in which I live no longer contains all of the "things" listed in my profile. We are now without the parakeet.
It wasn't much of a surprise, at least to my wife and me. The bird had been pretty unsteady for several months, but a couple of days ago, it was clear that the unsteadiness had moved into something more serious. Frankly, I wasn't about to drop several hundred dollars in vet bills to try and prolong the life of an aged parakeet, but luckily, the end came quickly.
On the unfortunate side of the coin, over the last six months, my youngest daughter had taken a real shine to the bird. She was bathing her, feeding her, petting her little head and speaking to her in those soothing tones that only a nine year-old girl with nothing but innocence and caring can utter. More than once she said to me, "Daddy, I feel sorry for Hedwig. She has to stay in that cage all the time. That's why I try and play with her every day."
That is a pithy example of my youngest. She feels for everything and everyone. She felt sorry for the bird because she lived in a cage. She feels sorry for the first grader with whom she has taken to playing with at recess because the other kids don't seem to like him very much. As she said to me, "His glasses are taped together Dad. I don't think his parents can afford a new pair. And he wanted to play with us so I said sure, but my friends didn't want him to."
So, my daughter played with him, and let her friends do what they wanted.
The morning that Hedwig passed, my daughter woke up early. It was Saturday and she had an indoor soccer game, but she was still up really early. In fact, she came into our room around five with tears in her eyes and woke my wife with the phrase, "Mommy, Hedwig's dying."
I rolled out of bed and came downstairs with her. Sure enough, Hedwig was dying. I held my daughter in my arms and tried to find the words to make the inevitable a little easier. They weren't the right ones, there aren't any right ones for someone who feels life the way she does. But being the empathetic being that she is, she let me believe that what I said made her feel a little better.
We had some breakfast, got her soccer stuff on and off we all went to the soccer game. Afterward the game, my youngest got invited over to the house of one of her teammates for a play date and so she went home with her. My wife, my oldest daughter and I went home.
After we went inside the house, my wife walked into the kitchen and I started to peel off my shoes and coat. She came back immediately with a sad look in her eyes.
"Hedwig's dead," she said with a quiver in her voice.
As the tears welled up in her eyes, I knew that half of them were for Hedwig and the other half were for my youngest whose heart was surely going to break when she heard the news. After a prolonged hug, we decided the best thing we could do is straighten up the scene a bit.
I searched the house for an appropriate container for Hedwig. My oldest daughter had a lovely box that once contained the perfume her homecoming date had given her. It was just parakeet size. It was black and white and contained curly-cue paper shavings that would delicately hold the remains of Hedwig. I then took a clipping of material from the Harry Potter print fabic we used in the evenings to cover the cage. I placed it over the bird's body as if it was sleeping and slowly closed the lid.
At some point, several months ago, my youngest made a name plate for the bird from those plastic rings that you put on a pegged grid and then iron. I took the Hedwig sign and propped it up against the box on the dining room table. And then we waited.
She finally came home around five that afternoon. After the usual thank yous were exchanged and the other mom and kid left, my wife pulled my youngest next to her on the love seat and said "B_____. I have to tell you something.."
With the words, "Hedwig died," my youngest started to cry. But they weren't the standard sobs of a child. They were the mature tears of a soul who FEELS, a soul for whom the passing of a bird had meaning past a mere change in routine or scenery. But she also knew that the time had come for Hedwig. She understood that her passing was a day that was always going to come But that inevitability was cold comfort for someone has caring as my youngest.
As a parent, I am both thrilled and afraid for my daughter. I am thrilled because the ability to care for others with such sincerity is a gift. But it is also a gift that will break her heart over and over again throughout her life. But I know that if we all could have just a piece of that gift, the world would be a much better place. We would all be more forgiving, more caring and more likely to do the things that we know we should for each other but often choose not to because they are hard or inconvenient.
Listen, she not a saint. She gets angry, she fights with her sister over stupid stuff and she's been known to ignore the voice of her parents when she knows they are about to ask her to do something she doesn't want to do. But when it comes to her default setting for people and animals, it is to be caring. It is to be accepting. And it is to be empathetic in both feelings and actions.
If only the rest of us could find those traits in our own hearts as well. Hedwig, you will be missed, and I won't forget the lesson that you and my youngest have taught me.
People who know me know that little things like this are exactly the things that I just can't seem to get excited about doing. But it needs to be done. You see, the house in which I live no longer contains all of the "things" listed in my profile. We are now without the parakeet.
On the unfortunate side of the coin, over the last six months, my youngest daughter had taken a real shine to the bird. She was bathing her, feeding her, petting her little head and speaking to her in those soothing tones that only a nine year-old girl with nothing but innocence and caring can utter. More than once she said to me, "Daddy, I feel sorry for Hedwig. She has to stay in that cage all the time. That's why I try and play with her every day."
That is a pithy example of my youngest. She feels for everything and everyone. She felt sorry for the bird because she lived in a cage. She feels sorry for the first grader with whom she has taken to playing with at recess because the other kids don't seem to like him very much. As she said to me, "His glasses are taped together Dad. I don't think his parents can afford a new pair. And he wanted to play with us so I said sure, but my friends didn't want him to."
So, my daughter played with him, and let her friends do what they wanted.
The morning that Hedwig passed, my daughter woke up early. It was Saturday and she had an indoor soccer game, but she was still up really early. In fact, she came into our room around five with tears in her eyes and woke my wife with the phrase, "Mommy, Hedwig's dying."
I rolled out of bed and came downstairs with her. Sure enough, Hedwig was dying. I held my daughter in my arms and tried to find the words to make the inevitable a little easier. They weren't the right ones, there aren't any right ones for someone who feels life the way she does. But being the empathetic being that she is, she let me believe that what I said made her feel a little better.
We had some breakfast, got her soccer stuff on and off we all went to the soccer game. Afterward the game, my youngest got invited over to the house of one of her teammates for a play date and so she went home with her. My wife, my oldest daughter and I went home.
After we went inside the house, my wife walked into the kitchen and I started to peel off my shoes and coat. She came back immediately with a sad look in her eyes.
"Hedwig's dead," she said with a quiver in her voice.
As the tears welled up in her eyes, I knew that half of them were for Hedwig and the other half were for my youngest whose heart was surely going to break when she heard the news. After a prolonged hug, we decided the best thing we could do is straighten up the scene a bit.
I searched the house for an appropriate container for Hedwig. My oldest daughter had a lovely box that once contained the perfume her homecoming date had given her. It was just parakeet size. It was black and white and contained curly-cue paper shavings that would delicately hold the remains of Hedwig. I then took a clipping of material from the Harry Potter print fabic we used in the evenings to cover the cage. I placed it over the bird's body as if it was sleeping and slowly closed the lid.
At some point, several months ago, my youngest made a name plate for the bird from those plastic rings that you put on a pegged grid and then iron. I took the Hedwig sign and propped it up against the box on the dining room table. And then we waited.
She finally came home around five that afternoon. After the usual thank yous were exchanged and the other mom and kid left, my wife pulled my youngest next to her on the love seat and said "B_____. I have to tell you something.."
With the words, "Hedwig died," my youngest started to cry. But they weren't the standard sobs of a child. They were the mature tears of a soul who FEELS, a soul for whom the passing of a bird had meaning past a mere change in routine or scenery. But she also knew that the time had come for Hedwig. She understood that her passing was a day that was always going to come But that inevitability was cold comfort for someone has caring as my youngest.
As a parent, I am both thrilled and afraid for my daughter. I am thrilled because the ability to care for others with such sincerity is a gift. But it is also a gift that will break her heart over and over again throughout her life. But I know that if we all could have just a piece of that gift, the world would be a much better place. We would all be more forgiving, more caring and more likely to do the things that we know we should for each other but often choose not to because they are hard or inconvenient.
Listen, she not a saint. She gets angry, she fights with her sister over stupid stuff and she's been known to ignore the voice of her parents when she knows they are about to ask her to do something she doesn't want to do. But when it comes to her default setting for people and animals, it is to be caring. It is to be accepting. And it is to be empathetic in both feelings and actions.
If only the rest of us could find those traits in our own hearts as well. Hedwig, you will be missed, and I won't forget the lesson that you and my youngest have taught me.
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Election Night
I love election night. But tonight, I'm a total loser. Everyone I voted for, short of water reclaimation district is a loser. Maybe I should have picked up the Republican ballot instead.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Supremely Gangbanged
Justices Roberts, Scalia, Thomas, Kennedy and Alito just gangbanged you. Don't feel too special because they pulled a train on all of us. That's right, they bent us over the Constitution of the United States and rammed it home while demanding we say they their names.
What? You didn't notice? Didn't feel a thing? I'm not surprised. Everyone knows if you spend too much time shilling for the conservative right, your twig and berries start to shrink from misuse and shame. That's right, if you spend too much time talking right wing dogma, your dick takes a powder. Don't believe me? Watch golf tournaments.
That's right, golf tournaments. Marketing is all about getting the right message in front of the right demographic and if you watch enough golf, you'll see every ad for every erectile dysfunction drug made today. (Well, that and luxury car ads, but we all know that big fancy cars are nothing more than symbolic penis extenders so it's the same thing really.) Who watches golf? Rich, chubby white guys. How would you describe the likes of Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh?
I rest my case. Conservatism leads to little dick syndrome. It's all very scientific.
Anyway, these limp tiny dicks got aroused the only way they know how, by buggering the average Joe and trust me when I tell you, we all got fucked.
A couple of days ago, the court ruled in a 5-4 decision in favor of Citizens United in their suit against the Federal Election Commission. The Court found that corporate funding of independent political broadcasts in candidate elections cannot be limited, because doing so would be in noncompliance with the First Amendment.
What's that mean for you and me besides a sore bunghole? It means that as far as the court is concerned, corporations have the same right to free speech as a person. That's right, the court believes that the founding fathers intended for the inalienable right to free speech guarenteed to every person under the Constitution be extended to Exxon, GE, British Petroleum, AIG and Blue Cross Blue Shield. That right is so complete that those corporations can spend as much money as they want on television, radio and print ads to get their candidate of choice elected.
Nearly unlimited financial support for their candidate, their guy on the Hill or in the White House. And the middle class? Those of us who don't have unlimited funds? Oh, we can still shout and yell while staring Justice Thomas's shriveled member in its one eye, but how is anyone going to hear us while the corporations who got the conservatives elected who appointed and confirmed Justice Roberts and his gang of pin dicks are saturating the airwaves with their message of profits over people?
I don't think anyone who penned the phrase "We the people of the United States in order to form a more perfect union..." intended for the political discourse of our democracy to be dominated by the money of faceless, profit-driven corporations. But those same corporations have certainly gotten their money's worth so far, and now the few restraints on them have been lifted.
I hope you enjoyed your Supreme screwing, because now we're all buns up kneeling and there is nothing stop them from truly taking advantage of us now.
Supreme Court’s campaign ruling: a bad day for democracy
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Pat Robertson will Rot in Hell
This jerk actually told the world that the reason the Haitian people had been struck by this terrible tragedy was because they had made a deal with the devil to throw the French out of the country decades ago. He even said, with a straight face, that the earthquake might be a blessing in disguise that will allow the Haitian’s to rebuild their country.
Seriously? When tornados ransack trailer parks full of southern white trash, is it because they made a deal with the devil to keep themselves awash is whiskey and ignorance? Is it an opportunity for those who are spared to build McMansions? Is it Pat?
The truth of the matter is, you aren’t a messenger of God, you are the face of a multi-billion dollar business and this provided you a perfect opportunity to appeal to the idiots who keep shucksters like you in business. It gave you a little of everything, didn’t it Pat. Black people, foreigners, and a calamity of biblical proportions were all you needed to make sure that the fanatics who have helped you get rich reach just a little deeper in their pockets.
You deal in fear and divisiveness. You are the merchant of the very values that Satan would find most admirable. And when the time comes for your great reward, I hope the Devil himself is the presenter.
If you want to see what Pat “Death Makes Me Richer” Robertson had to say, click here:
Video: Pat Robertson Says The Haitians made a deal with the devil
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Quick Hits: Now with Health Benefits
According to Elizabeth Cohen, a health reporter for whom I have a lot of respect, sex is good for you. In fact, having more sex is the New Year's Resolution you should make. Women have less pronouced symptoms of menopause and lower risk for breast cancer, men live longer and have a lower risk of prostate cancer. It also burns calories and is good for your heart.
So don't listen to those wack jobs who say sex is only for procreation. It is actually an important part of any overall fitness plan. I can just see it now, come to Bally's Fitness Center and Brothel! I see a lot of strained groins in their future.
CNN: Sex Health Benefits
New Blog to Follow!
I don't remember how I stumbled across Candice, but I'm glad I did. In a word, she's funny. And if you're anything like me, you need the funny now and then. So swing over to her place and see the world through her eyes. Read about cat fights in the mall, corn cob fellatio and why letting your kids repeatedly injure themselves is actually a parenting technique. On top of it all, she's a nurse so you can hear the occational moron patient story, the latest involving the gift that keeps on giving. Stop by and say howdy to Candice, you'll be glad you did. Tell her The T-Dude sent ya!
Life According to Candice
Ewwww! A study found coliform bacteria in 48 percent of the sodas that were sampled. Turd germs in my cola? Gross. But that begs the question, how the hell did turd germs get in them in the first place? What exactly are those fast food workers doing with those machines? Are they giving them rim jobs? Are they washing them with toilet water? Either way...I think I'll stick with bottled water.
Soda Machines Harbor Fecal Bacteria
Friday, January 01, 2010
Top Stories of 2010
The Intertubes are filled with lists this time of year, particularly since this is the end of the decade. Top 100 this, top ten that. But here at the T-Dude, we think those folks are all pussies. That's right, pussies. Anyone can throw together a list of things that have already happened. But it takes a pair to put up a list of what is yet to come. That's right, I, the T-Dude will now predict some of the top news events of 2010.
1) The Economy Continues to Sputter
Jobs continue to be the problem. The bailout did its job and stabilized the credit markets and saved the speculators and gambling houses (AIG and the like), but it did nothing to solve the basic problem of the U.S. economy. We don't make anything anymore, including good middle class jobs. Weak job market and weak wages = weak demand which equals uneven economic growth in the short term. So get ready for another year of economic struggles for the average American.
2) Amy Winehouse Accidently Discovers Cancer Cure
The walking pharmacy that is Amy Winehouse lands in the hospital yet again, this time for overdosing on radioactive heroin, cocaine and embalming fluid. While in the ICU, the precancerous mole on her cheek suddenly falls off and is discovered cowering in the corner of her room begging for mercy. Further research discovers the strange combination of drugs the Winehouse was taking is actually a powerful skin cancer cure. But no one tells her and the doctors treating her make millions while she works feverishly to avoid both rehab and jail.
3) Cubs Win World Series
Hang on....hahahahaha....heeeheeee....{gasp} ....oh man....I kill me sometimes.
4) Health Reform Passes, Nobody Happy (except the insurance industry)
There is no real public option, there is a mandate that everyone has to carry health insurance and the only downside for the insurance companies is that they no longer get to kick out the sick people with pre-existing conditions. But they just raise rates on the healthy folks and continue to pocket their outrageous profits for doing nothing other than being a middle man between you and your doctor.
5) Lindsay Lohan Overdoses
Okay, that isn't much of a prediction. But you have to let me have at least one gimme. She has already done the Marilyn Monroe look-a-like photo shoots, it's just a matter of time before she goes the full nine yards.
6) Twitter Declares Bankruptcy
After a meteoric rise, Twitter succumbs to the pressure from Facebook and other networking sites and closes its doors. The once amazing networking tool couldn't compete with the accessibility and versatility of the new Internet enabled phones that gave Facebook and others a huge functionality advantage.
7) Democrats Lose Seats in House, Senate
Let's face it, the economy is still sputtering, the Dems haven't exactly embodied the change they campaigned on, health care reform came in with a roar but passed as just a whimper of its initial promise. The D's are going to be given one of those message elections. Sen. Harry Reid in Nevada gets the boot as does Christopher Dodd in Connecticut. Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand was appointed to Hillary Clinton's seat in New York so anything could happen in that race.
On the House side, I have no specific predictions yet, but the sliding approval rating of President Obama is an ominous sign for House Dems in mixed or right leaning districts.
If any of you, my fair readers, have any predictions of your own, put them in the comments section. In the meantime, have a great 2010. I know I'm looking forward to it.
Jobs continue to be the problem. The bailout did its job and stabilized the credit markets and saved the speculators and gambling houses (AIG and the like), but it did nothing to solve the basic problem of the U.S. economy. We don't make anything anymore, including good middle class jobs. Weak job market and weak wages = weak demand which equals uneven economic growth in the short term. So get ready for another year of economic struggles for the average American.
The walking pharmacy that is Amy Winehouse lands in the hospital yet again, this time for overdosing on radioactive heroin, cocaine and embalming fluid. While in the ICU, the precancerous mole on her cheek suddenly falls off and is discovered cowering in the corner of her room begging for mercy. Further research discovers the strange combination of drugs the Winehouse was taking is actually a powerful skin cancer cure. But no one tells her and the doctors treating her make millions while she works feverishly to avoid both rehab and jail.
3) Cubs Win World Series
Hang on....hahahahaha....heeeheeee....{gasp} ....oh man....I kill me sometimes.
4) Health Reform Passes, Nobody Happy (except the insurance industry)
There is no real public option, there is a mandate that everyone has to carry health insurance and the only downside for the insurance companies is that they no longer get to kick out the sick people with pre-existing conditions. But they just raise rates on the healthy folks and continue to pocket their outrageous profits for doing nothing other than being a middle man between you and your doctor.
5) Lindsay Lohan Overdoses
Okay, that isn't much of a prediction. But you have to let me have at least one gimme. She has already done the Marilyn Monroe look-a-like photo shoots, it's just a matter of time before she goes the full nine yards.
6) Twitter Declares Bankruptcy
After a meteoric rise, Twitter succumbs to the pressure from Facebook and other networking sites and closes its doors. The once amazing networking tool couldn't compete with the accessibility and versatility of the new Internet enabled phones that gave Facebook and others a huge functionality advantage.
Let's face it, the economy is still sputtering, the Dems haven't exactly embodied the change they campaigned on, health care reform came in with a roar but passed as just a whimper of its initial promise. The D's are going to be given one of those message elections. Sen. Harry Reid in Nevada gets the boot as does Christopher Dodd in Connecticut. Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand was appointed to Hillary Clinton's seat in New York so anything could happen in that race.
On the House side, I have no specific predictions yet, but the sliding approval rating of President Obama is an ominous sign for House Dems in mixed or right leaning districts.
If any of you, my fair readers, have any predictions of your own, put them in the comments section. In the meantime, have a great 2010. I know I'm looking forward to it.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Happy New Year
My wife and kids are good and my job is going well. My checkbook is less than stellar and my trek to the great reward is one year shorter.
I guess that makes the year a wash. The Zen part of my soul is telling me that is is exactly the way it is supposed to be, the Ying and the Yang are in balance and I should just be.
So, I guess for the rest of 2009, I will listen and wallow in my inner peace. But starting at 12:01am, I'm gonna be pissed again. I'm going to rant again. I'm going to call'em like I see'em. I hope you'll pop by now and then, otherwise I'm nothing more than a cyber version of the guy sitting on the sewer grate outside the White House with a sign in his hand and voices in his head.
So from the voices in my head and the family in my home I wish each of you a wonderful new year. To quote Col. Potter:
"Let's hope it's a damn sight better than the last one."
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